Have you ever seen the wristband that has the words “Watch for God” on a it? I saw one just a few months ago and thought to myself, “that is a great way to practice mindfulness!”
A few weeks ago a client told me that he had posted a big note on his bulletin board that said, “Look for God.” I thought to myself, “hmmm that is the second time I’m hearing this message.”
Then, a few days ago I read snippets of a journal entry on, you guessed it, same message different words. “Finding God,” when He seems to be hiding.
Yep, I heard the message loud and clear. I needed to pay attention (practice mindfulness) to the mysterious, synchronicity of how God shows up in my life.
And guess what my word for the year is? AWAKE!
When we are mindful (awake) to what’s going on in the moment and trust that there is a bigger plan taking place behind the spiritual curtains, life becomes less stressful. Life becomes more vibrant. The flowers seems more colorful and the sky seems more blue. Relationships become deeper. Why? Because we are practicing the art of being present.
But what happens when you can’t see God’s hand? When it feels like the Spirit is showing up for everyone else, but is hiding from you? Do you feel like you’re not looking for God’s hand the right way? Like you’re the only one on the planet who isn’t good enough or loved enough to see evidence of His mysterious ways?
Honestly, there have been many times in my life that I felt like God was hiding. It seemed especially real when I was in the middle of a separation from my husband.
I begged and pleaded for God to make the hell we were going through stop. I made bargains and promises. I guess I thought God would wave a magic wand and make everything better.
It felt as if God’s presence and involvement in my life, was based on whether I was good enough. And when I screwed up, well that just confirmed that I wasn't acceptable, lovable or in a word - enough.
The good news is my Spiritual journey has brought me to a place of believing that God is more interested in who I am vs. what I do.
That means sometimes the lessons are tough. That means sometimes, ok not sometimes, ALL THE TIME, I need to get my eyes off of myself and those things that limit me from seeing His hand in my life. Can we say perfectionism, control, worry, fear etc.?
To believe that whether it turns out good or whether it turns out bad (or my perception of bad) I am not alone, I am loved, and I am enough in His eyes. And so are you my friend!
Sometimes I can imagine God looking at me and chuckling as He says, “Pam, why do you make things so hard? Don’t you get that I unconditionally love you no matter what?
You are My child, My creation. My presence is always there with you and in you. Continue to practice staying awake to what I’m up to. Listen to that internal “nudge and quiet voice.” Trust and let go and you will be amazed at what you see.”
As always, I look forward to hearing your story.
Peace & Grace,